A Shameful Memory from My Arrogant Days (20 Memories, Vol. 5)

2026.10.05

In short: Vol. 5 of “20 Memories” for the 20th anniversary of Bar Little Happiness in Hiroshima. Owner Mika Tanimoto recalls a phone call she nearly turned away in her arrogant early twenties — from a former guest whose slurred speech came from illness, not drink — and the shame she has kept ever since as a reminder.

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Thanks 20th Anniversary — 20 Memories, Vol. 5

Back numbers: Vol. 1　Vol. 2　Vol. 3　Vol. 4

I wonder how many years ago it was now.

One day, a phone call came in to Little Happiness.

“I’d like… to make a reservation.”

The voice sounded slurred.

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Back then, we were full every day, and I was getting carried away with myself.

I was desperate to keep the right kind of crowd in the bar,

and I remember answering with words that came close to turning the caller away.

The person on the other end said nothing more, and the call ended.

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That same night,

the person came to Little Happiness.

The moment the door opened and they slowly walked in,

I caught my breath.

It was a guest who had come to the bar several times before.

I was told they had been ill.

That words no longer came out the way they wanted.

And then, slowly, very slowly, they said this:

“I wondered… if you were doing well.”

“I always… looked forward to coming here.”

“I heard from people… that you were working hard.”

“It gave me… strength for my rehabilitation.”

It was a time before social media.

A time when people did not yet have the habit of searching for things on the internet.

Even so, this person had remembered my bar,

heard about it through others, and taken it as encouragement for their rehabilitation.

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The slurred voice I heard on the phone that day had nothing to do with alcohol.

Right there, I was filled with shame and remorse.

I was deeply ashamed of the arrogance I had been hiding behind the excuse of “keeping the right crowd.”

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That night, the bar was packed beyond belief.

Out of shame and awkwardness, I could not have a proper conversation with that guest.

“I’m so happy to see you.”

I think that was all I managed to say.

Back then, I did not know what I should have told them.

I was in my early twenties. I was far too immature.

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When they left, I saw them off outside the bar.

I bowed deeply and shook their hand.

The words would not come,

“Thank you so much.”

was all I said.

There must have been so much I wanted to tell them, and so much I wanted to ask.

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I have not seen that guest since.

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Whenever I am about to become arrogant,

whenever I am about to get the wrong idea about myself,

I always remember that guest.

The way they wove their words together, slowly, very slowly.

I am sure that back then, not only to that guest,

but without realising it, I did the same thing to many people.

And even now, I may be doing the same thing to someone without noticing.

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The shame of that day has not faded, even now, nearly 20 years later.

I intend never to forget it.

Because that shame is what keeps my feet on the ground today.

Thanks 20th Anniversary — 20 Memories, Vol. 5

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