Nineteen Years Behind a Bar｜Three Essays on Running It Alone
2025.5.08
How this place came to take the shape it has.
Nineteen years of wavering and doubting, and building anyway —
the course of running it, and of how to be in it, written from three angles.
▶︎ [Part 1] I Stopped Trying to Reach Everyone
Revenue rose, people approved, and something in me was wearing down. What that was.▶︎ [Part 2] Letting Go of the Organization
Swinging between the ideal and the real, and still holding to how I wanted to be.▶︎ [Part 3] Continuing, Alone
What acceptance finally looked like, on the far side of choosing to continue alone.
＊ The photograph was taken under the aurora, in the night sky over New Zealand.
That’s me standing beneath it.
Light and colour you rarely get to see.
The whole of that time, just looking up, is still vivid to me.
The way nature quietly takes shape —
this place, too,
wavering and unsure, at some point simply came to be as it is.
